So, tonight's a big night. Not because after 3 years of work, Mrs. Yates' blog is finally up and running, no, although that is pretty huge. Three long years of hard, hard work. No, tonight's big because I'm going to see the new Bond movie. Listen, I know what you're thinking: you're thinking Daniel Craig pales in comparison to Timothy Dalton, who did two Bond movies, one of which I'm pretty sure went straight to video. Well he doesn't and you're a Douchey McShittyBalls for thinking that.
I will be ingesting alcohol tonight, whether it's alone in my room with a knife cutting at my leg, or hanging with friends and having laughs at the local pub. By the way, we're in America, stop calling it a pub. Only the Brits can do that.
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5 comments:
I think you should cut yourself tonight. Thoughts?
My thoughts right now are all about how awesome Bond will be, and what my excuse will be for all the score marks on my legs tomorrow.
Oh heaven's me. dan, this is your mother. Don't do it honey, we'll get you help. I love you so much.
Mom, I need new sheets. Please ship the immediately.
Sorry mom, "them". So help me god, do not send me an email correcting me, or the whole leg is coming off.
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